Ring Out Wild Bells....

Ring Out Wild Bells

Ring out wild bells to the wild sky,

The flying cloud, the frosty light:

The year is dying in the night;

Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,

Ring, happy bells, across the snow:

The year is going, let him go;

Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Ring out old shapes of foul disease,

Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;

Ring out the thousand wars of old,

Ring in the thousand years of peace.

Ring in the valiant man and free,

The larger heart, the kindlier hand;

Ring out the darkness of the land,

Ring in the [Light] that is to be.

Alfred, Lord Tennyson

This was one of my mother's favorite poems. She would yell it out in to the storms and wind of winter in those cold days between Christmas and New Year's Day. She loved the idea of new beginnings, fresh starts and spiritual "do-overs". I inherited this love from her....and now I am the wild woman in her bathrobe quoting poetry on the front lawn in gale force winds. What a legacy!

My birthday is tomorrow. I will be 41 years old. I don't know where the days have gone. My "babies" are young men. My dark hair is streaked with white. My left knee tells me when it is going to rain. Friends I have known and loved are gone from this world and I miss them. I no longer believe that I am immortal, but I know that I am not yet old. I guess I have reached my "Middle Ages". It is a difficult idea to accept, but it feels natural, so here I am. Ready to move forward; to keep what works and change what doesn't. Ready for a fresh start.

Ring out wild bells to the wild sky! I will be listening for the echo of your song as I step boldly into my new year. Ring out, happy bells, across the snow!



When it rains.....

"When it rains, it pours" is a very old saying that has MANY meanings out here on the edge of the world.

Obviously, in a coastal climate at the southern tip of a temperate rain forest, there is the actual, physical RAIN! There is ALOT of rain! (It rains sideways, upside down, in swirls, and, my very favorite, up my skirt while I am trying to get to work!)

Then there is the "everything goes wonkely at the same time" kind of rain. For example, we need a new roof, the deck has dry rot, the fridge died, the dishwasher has started making the most alarming sound, and the microwave....well, you get the idea. Which leads me to wonder, why does everything go all wonkely at once? Is there some rule in life that states that everything MUST become an emergency? Wouldn't it be okay with the Universe if my household could "line up" to break down in a budget friendly manner?

I can see that meeting in my head! The house calls the meeting to order and the minutes are read. Then the roof says, "I am really feeling out of sorts. I move that I will need replacing by September."  and the deck seconds the motion, the house calls for a vote and the motion carries...

Now, before you call for medical intervention, I KNOW the house doesn't understand "Roberts Rules" and YES, there were signs that the roof was going. It's just the whole process of finding the amount of money needed at the time the money is needed. It is very frustrating to worry about money! In fact, I really dislike worrying about money! Money just shouldn't be that important!!! And it isn't, until I need money....

So, my nightly habit for shutting down the "Worries" so I can go to sleep is counting all our Blessings! We HAVE a roof, we HAVE beds, we HAVE appliances (for now), my children go to bed with food in their bellies, we are not cold, we are not threatened, we have education, and freedom and each other and...and...and...and...and...

And in the face of such an abundant list of BLESSINGS, I guess I have no problem with the rain after all. So, "Bring on the rain, I've a smile on my face!" It's all a matter of perspective!

Like a Faerie God-mother

I know that it is probably silly, but I love giving gifts to new babies! I traditionally give a quilt because I feel that it is important to be invested in the giving.  I think of it as a blessing. I plan colors, and design something special for the child in question. Then I spend countless hours cutting, sewing, embroidering, applique-ing and finally binding. As I create this gift I think such things as: May you know comfort in a world that sometimes seems cruel or indifferent, may you know warmth in a world that is sometimes cold, and may you be welcomed joyfully in a world that sometimes forgets to say "hello".

I usually refrain from telling people my "faerie god-mother" wishes. Most people think I am rather eccentric already. But sometimes someone I really know well has a baby and THEN I spill the beans and let her in on the real gift....not "just" a handmade quilt, but the hope of a healthy and happy life for the child they are carrying. And the thought that maybe someday their darling child will be awakened by "true love's kiss" in true Faerie Tale fashion and I can make another blessing-quilt....

Congratulations Wendy and Kenny as you welcome your son into your life. May he be well and whole and happy!

True Confessions

On the evening of this last official day of Summer Vacation, I have a few confessions to make!

• I never did get the yard completed to my satisfaction!
• There is STILL laundry piled up in the Washroom! (My new system didn't work as well as I had hoped!)
• I didn't finish all of my UFOs (UnFinished Objects)

On the other hand....

• I read with my children for the sake of pleasure only!
• I studied some topics that I find facsinating!
• I knit some new patterns that I didn't know I would find!
• I visited with family and friends!
• I reconnected with a long lost childhood pal! (And couldn't be happier about it)
• I met many new people, both online and in the "real" world!
• I took several long naps just because I needed them!

I guess, all in all, that this summer has been a success! We are rested and ready to start again! We enjoyed our time together. And we didn't waste a minute regretting the things we didn't quite get to!

Thank goodness my "To Do List" doesn't have an expiration date. It will still be waiting for me on the weekends!

Happy Back to School Day!

Changes

The boys are growing up so fast! My "baby" is starting Jr. High next week. Somedays I miss the babies that I held in my arms, but I LOVE the men they are becoming! It can seem like a strange and unsettling mix of emotions.

The seasons are turning again, too. The long, lazy days of summer are giving way to the crisp, cool days of fall. We are getting ready to go back to school again. Me to teach, and my Little Britches to learn. (My Firstling is graduated, so he just laughs at our preparations)

My Great Grandmother used to look in the mirror and tell me that sometimes she was surprised by the old woman looking back at her. This was quite an alarming concept to a five-year-old girl. I was almost afraid that my dear Mimi was "losing it". Now I understand; the girl on the other-side of my mirror has aged quite a bit! Although she has developed a very striking white streak in her right temple.

Everything changes. I will not fear the changing. I will learn to embrace it as a lovely chance to try something just a little bit different....for a change.

The Same Brand of Crazy

My sweet little brother and his beautiful family spent the weekend! I love it when they come to visit! They are family; they look like us, they sound like us, they are the same brand of crazy....I think that being surrounded by family is a comfort and a gift. To be able to feel "normal" and "accepted" is rare. Even with friends, I sometimes feel "different" or "outside" the group. But with my family.....

To see my youngest son and my niece with their heads together over a book, or giggling at a shared joke or playing video games together is a delight. To share the same love of books and movies is just fun. All of us quoting our favorite lines from Monty Python and laughing together as if we are actually watching the movie. These are the things I always want to remember. These are the moments that will shine like stars on the canvas of my memory. The "little things" that are in fact EVERYTHING!

 

Come again soon, guys! There is always room for you here!

I have always loved the fall...

I look forward to the cooler days;
the wonderful sweaters that I haven't worn for a while,
the quietness of our little community as the tourists head back to their own lives,
the geese flying overhead,
the vivid colors of nature.

I think that preparing for the solitude of winter appeals to me. The secret planning for the coming holiday celebrations. The darker evenings and family cuddling in close for safety and warmth. 

But really, out here by the wild Pacific coast, it is the anticipation of winter storms. The sea and the wind in all their glory; reminding me that we are really so very small.
For me, Autumn is a time of perspective and dancing in the wind...